Hermione's Ghosts
by JustPretend2
Summary: Hermione comes to school with a hidden past and important secrets. After witnessing a few odd events, Snape decides to keep an eye on her and comes across her journal. Not a romantic pairing, set in Hermione's first year. Read AN for warnings
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Oddly enough, I do not own Harry Potter or anyone/thing in his universe. That belongs to JK Rowling. **

**AN: Warning: This story will contain severe child abuse, though not very graphic. Mostly mentioning, but not always. If you do not like such themes, then please do not read, you're not forced. If, by some chance, you are forced to read this and find it not to your liking, tell your captor to choose better stories. Any reviews are welcome, especially if someone wants to Beta this. This story is going to be short - possibly two or three chapters at most. I sometimes have a tendency to rush things, so if anyone can help out with that, please let me know.**

The Fates were mocking him. No, the Fates were getting their revenge. That's what this was. Why else would he be forced to teach Potter Jr? The clone started this year, and of course, Albus wouldn't let him forget that. Well, if the Fates were going to push him around, it's only fair he did it to the boy. He had hoped that maybe there was a slight chance he'd have inherited some traits from his mother in potions, but that hope proved to be in vain.

The Granger chit knew the answers, which surprised him, but he couldn't deal with the know-it-all attitutde. He hoped she would tone it down a bit over the years. Tomorrow would be best, or later today, but he knew that was wishful thinking. There was something about the child though, something that he should be concerned about – but not knowing what it was, he brushed it off. It wasn't until the third week of class that he thought of it again.

He was walking through the class, looking over the potions and hoping no one – _Longbottom –_ blew anything up. It was as he was passing by Granger that he noticed it. She stiffened. He was not sure how he missed it before, but he sure as hell did not miss it now. Normally, no one notices his presence until he's hovering over them, a fact in which he prided himself; but she somehow noticed. Upon testing his theory towards the end of the period, he was proven correct. She had stiffened again. Something was wrong with her. Perhaps he'll talk to Minerva about it, after all, whatever it is could be dealt with her Head of House. He knows she doesn't have any friends, but he refuses to pity her. Besides, what can honestly plague an 11-year-old child? Nothing serious.

* * *

><p>That night during supper, he conversed with Minerva about what he'd seen. She seemed worried.<p>

"I don't know, Severus, something has always been off about her. Even when I delivered her Hogwarts letter. She didn't even ask any questions. Her father asked for a demonstration, but it didn't seem to surprise the girl. I've tried talking to her since she arrived, but she remains tight-lipped. The other children ridicule her."

"What of her mother?" Snape was truly curious now.

"She's ill. It seems to be some type of cancer. It has her bedridden most of the time." Minerva's face held worry. She wasn't lying when she told Severus of what she thought – something was off with the girl, but she's not sure what. She seemed – sad. Perhaps it was because of her mother.

Although unknowingly, Severus was thinking the same thing. He couldn't help feeling that there was something more, but overall, he ignored the feeling. It was probably just her mother. He let his gaze travel to the Gryffindor table where he saw the subject of their conversation. She was sitting at the very end, alone. He dismissed the tug he felt in his heart. He narrowed his eyes as he caught something.

"Minerva, does she often talk to herself?" He could have sworn she glanced to the side and whispered.

"Yes, she does." Minerva, too, glanced down the table. Sure enough, she glanced to the side again and whispered. _What on Earth is she saying?_

As if on cue, Severus cast an Eavesdropping Spell, adjusted to only Hermione Granger, and adjusted so only he and Minerva can listen. „Severus! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" she hissed.

"Quiet." He concentrated on listening. Even with the spell, her voice was barely audible.

_"It's getting close to Christmas."_

_"I don't want to go home, but I can't stay here."_

_"Daddy said-"_

_"I know but he says-"_ She abrutly cut herself off and looked towards the the people eavesdropping. Severus cancelled the spell and both professors fought off the guilty feeling. The meal ended leaving both of them unnerved.

* * *

><p>Severus Snape had decided to keep an eye on the girl. He refused to recognise the fact that he felt a bit, well, creeped out, that he was caught. What kind of spy was he? Obviously not a very good one anymore – he couldn't even find the child. Every time he got a glimpse of her, she disappeared. Whenever he did catch her, she stopped whispering to herself. <em>In fact,<em> he thought with a frown, _I do not believe I have ever heard her speak in anything other than a whisper, save for that troll incident and the first day of classes._ He knew she was lying with the troll, but he couldn't fathom why. Often enough, she glanced to the side before whispering. Other than that bit of information, he remained clueless about her. He didn't like puzzles he couldn't solve.

Then it happened. The last day of classes before the little brats left for the Christmas hols. The class had just left and he was sweeping over the room to see if anything was left behind when he spotted a nondescript leather book on the floor where Granger had been sitting. Upon opening to the first page, he read:

_This Diary Belongs To_

_Hermione Jane Granger (born Griffin)_

_If you have found this book by error, please return it to its rightful owner. I would expect that you have enough decency not to turn the pages and read its contents. If you have intentionally opened this with the intent to read its contents, please know that these are my thoughts. Mine alone and I do not wish for anyone to read them. I cherish the privacy that these pages give me and if you were to violate that, I would never forgive such an abuse of trust._

Quite well written for a child. He knew very well that he should return this to her, or at the very least to her Head of House, but what Severus should do and what he does are sometimes two very different things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Still don't own this wonderful universe. Goes to JK Rowling. **

**AN: The severe child abuse I mentioned in the previous chapter is happening here. It's not really descriptive, but the warning is there just in case. The poem in this chapter is a song written by Oomph! and was actually released much later than the story takes place (I believe Hermione's first year was 1991?) but we're pretending it's a poem and written by Hermione. The song in its original language will be posted at the bottom. Translation was done by whoever Joshua895 is on youtube.**

Professor Snape was sitting on a comfortable, dark coloured armchair in his quarters. Situated on the table between him and the other armchair was Granger's journal. The fireplace in front of the table threw light onto the innocent-looking book while Severus glared at it.

He had a problem. Whenever he picks up a book, he can't help but read it, regardless of how boring or enchanting it is. Unfortunately, it was a trait in every know-it-all. He was currently battling with himself over whether he should read it. Well, no... more of whether he was going to read it. He had successfully been able to avoid it the previous night by placing the evening edition of the Daily Prophet over it, but it failed to help him this morning.

He continued to glare at the offending book.

He and Minerva had continued their observations of the girl but neither of them had been successful. The latter had tried asking the child simple questions, such as what the Sorting Hat told her. In hindsight, that was probably a bit too invasive but she was curious (the hat had taken a very long time on her head) and she thought it was a good way to get the cub to open up to her. Unfortunately, it did not end the way she hoped.

"_Can you imagine what she said to me, Severus?" It was obvious he did not know, but apparently she wanted reassurances._

"_Do tell, Minerva," he replied sarcastically. This whole Granger thing had been irritating him. Even a Rubix cube was simpler to solve. _

"_She told me, 'I apologise, Professor, but that was a private conversation.'" _

_Severus tried, unsuccessfully, to hold back a snort of amusement. At least he wasn't the only one going nowhere with this. He scanned the hall and locked eyes with her. Her eyes... they looked dead. As soon as the thought came she broke contact. _

"Merlin help me," Severus muttered to himself as he reached for the book. He flipped to the second page to check the date – it seems she started writing in this a few years ago. That made her, what? Eight? The handwriting was a bit different than the opening warning – she must have put that in at a later date. He skimmed the first line:

_Once upon a time there was a King and Queen..._

He skipped over that, not wishing to read the made up fairytale of some child. At least not yet. He flipped through the pages, not paying attention, until he came upon a poem of sorts written in an angry scrawl. It seemed to have been written not too long ago, sometime in late September. Curiosity piqued, he paused his shuffling.

_At night, when he lays with you  
><em>_and moves himself onto you,  
><em>_you wish yourself away  
><em>_(I believed you long enough)_

_At night, when he nestles up to you  
><em>_and your heart twists,  
><em>_you don't say a word  
><em>_(You've deprived me long enough)_

_You were nothing, you are nothing  
><em>_and you will never be anything_

_Let me go, you gutless pig  
><em>_I never want to see you again_

_At night, when he consumes your ego  
><em>_and empties himself on you,  
><em>_you don't feel anything anymore.  
><em>_(I've defended myself long enough)_

_At night, when you hurt yourself  
><em>_and cover yourself with blood,  
><em>_you feel empty,  
><em>_(I've defended myself long enough)_

_And then he opens the door to your room  
><em>_and the fear of what's to come gets worse,  
><em>_your soul climbs down into its cellar  
><em>_and the heart in your chest beats faster._

_And then he speaks coldly into your conscience.  
><em>_Tell mother nothing of this, she's to know nothing.  
><em>_If you must scream, scream into the pillow goddamn it!  
><em>_Come and kiss me._

Severus paled. This cannot be true. He hurriedly went to the beginning of the book, ignoring the voice in his head saying Minerva had once mentioned she wets the bed. That would mean they had missed the signs. Only bits and pieces were registering in his head as he continued to read.

_...Once upon a time there was a King and Queen. The King wasn't a real King though. The real King died when the Princess was little, and the pretend King took his place. The Queen says its because he's nice and without him, they would end up in the poorhouse. The princess doesn't like him. He hugs her too much and always wants to play games..._

…_.The Queen is sick. The doctors say she has cancer. She doesn't know about the games that the pretend King makes the Princess play..._

_...The pretend King told the Princess that he loves her and that he wanted to show her how daddies love their daughters, but the Princess isn't his real daughter. He says the Princess has to call him daddy. He put his thing in the Princess' private place and it hurt so much. She doesn't want to be daddy's little princess..._

…_.The pretend King hurt the Princess today when she hugged a boy. The pretend King said he was sorry, that he was only jealous. The little boy saw, but the Princess made him forget what he saw so he won't be hurt, too..._

…_At night when the princess dreams, the real King comes and holds her while she cries..._

_...A nice witch visited the Princess. She said she gets to go to a special school. The real King told her that would happen soon and that she'll be safe there..._

_...The Princess cut herself today. It made her feel better. She got in trouble for marking on her dolls so she hides them, but now no one will know if she does it to herself. She can't get in trouble then. She doesn't want another punishment..._

_...The Princess prayed again tonight, but God didn't hear her..._

Severus turned to the last page – two pages after the poem.

_The Princess got a letter today from the pretend King but she doesn't want to read it. She remembered what he said before she left to the special school. The pretend King told her she was getting too old and that he's going to sell her during Christmas..._

Unable to do anything else, Severus leaned over the side of the chair and threw up. When his stomach was finally empty he checked the clock. Only half an hour until the train leaves. He vanished the mess on the floor and floo'ed to Minerva's office, not stopping for a hello. He ran out and towards the Gryffindor common room as fast he could with only one thing on his mind. He cannot let her take the train back to that... that... _place_!

"Severus! What do you think you're doing?" Minerva called from somewhere behind him. He didn't stop to answer her. Instead, he strode into the Gryffindor common room, only now realising he didn't really have a plan.

"Potter!"

"Yes, sir?" the boy answered from in front of the fireplace.

"Where is Miss Granger?" he asked, trying to keep the urgency from his voice.

The boy replied, confused, "Hermione's in her dorm, Professor."

Snape rounded on Minerva who had just arrived behind him. "Get Miss Granger. I do not have time to explain anything. Take her to the hospital wing immediately and I shall meet you there with the Headmaster."

Minerva, having never heard this tone from Severus before, quickly followed his instructions. When she arrived at the designated place with the girl in tow, she happened upon a very grave and furious headmaster who was reading the book she had seen Severus with earlier.

She was startled out of her observation by a small voice had her side, speaking barely above a whisper. "Excuse me, Professor, may I ask why Professor Dumbledore has my diary?"

She looked at the child, and what she saw made her breath catch in her throat. Her eyes – instead of the politely curious yet nervous first year they head shown earlier, they were dead.

* * *

><p><strong>Ich will dich nie mehr sehen by Oomph!<strong>

_**Nachts, wenn er sich zu dir legt**_  
><em><strong>und sich auf dir bewegt<strong>_  
><em><strong>wünschst du dich fort<strong>_  
><em><strong>(Ich hab dir lange genug geglaubt)<strong>_

_**Nachts, wenn er sich an dich schmiegt**_  
><em><strong>und sich dein Herz verbiegt<strong>_  
><em><strong>sagst du kein Wort<strong>_  
><em><strong>(Du hast mich lange genug beraubt)<strong>_

_**Du warst nichts, du bist nichts**_  
><em><strong>und du wirst nie etwas sein<strong>_

_**Lass mich los, du feiges Schwein**_  
><em><strong>ich will dich nie wieder sehn<strong>_  
><em><strong>Ich will dich nie mehr sehn<strong>_

_**Nachts, wenn er dein Ich verzehrt**_  
><em><strong>und sich auf dir entleert<strong>_  
><em><strong>spürst du nichts mehr<strong>_  
><em><strong>(Ich hab mich lange genug gewehrt)<strong>_

_**Nachts, wenn du dich selbst verletzt**_  
><em><strong>und dich mit Blut benetzt<strong>_  
><em><strong>fühlst du dich leer<strong>_  
><em><strong>(Du hast mich lange genug zerstort)<strong>_

_**Du warst nichts, du bist nichts**_  
><em><strong>und du wirst nie etwas sein<strong>_

_**Lass mich los, du feiges Schwein**_  
><em><strong>ich will dich nie wieder sehn<strong>_  
><em><strong>Ich will dich nie mehr sehn<strong>_

_**Und dann öffnet er die Tür zu deinem Zimmer**_  
><em><strong>und die Angst vor dem was kommt wird immer schlimmer<strong>_  
><em><strong>deine Seele steigt hinab in ihren Keller<strong>_  
><em><strong>und das Herz in deiner Brust schlägt schneller<strong>_

_**Und dann redet er dir kalt in dein Gewissen**_  
><em><strong>Sage Mutter nichts davon, sie soll nichts wissen<strong>_  
><em><strong>Wenn du schrein musst, schrei verdammt noch mal ins Kissen<strong>_  
><em><strong>Komm und küss mich<strong>_


	3. Author's Note

Author's Note: Thank you for all that have reviewed and put this up on alert. I know you are all waiting for a third chapter, and I have it written, it just really, really sucks. If anyone wants to take the story and make it theirs, let me know. Or, if you have ideas or would like to read what I have or find out my ideas, let me know. I'm open for pretty much anything now.

I tried rewriting the third chapter, only it came out worse than before if that's at all possible. Share some of your ideas and I'm more than willing to listen or bounce ideas off you.

Thanks,

JustPretend


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